Sandra Hillawi

Energist and Trainer - Assisting Energy Flow Towards Love
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How Do I Love Myself? A Clients Story

How Do I Love Myself? A Clients Story

How do I love myself? My client said to me. She had no idea how to begin. She told me that she felt disconnected and also felt her Mum, who died afew years ago, didn’t love her. In fact the whole idea of a mother loving a baby daughter was an alien concept for her. A Mother loving a baby boy was ok. She didn’t feel love at all. So where do we begin?

I explained about why we all need to learn to love ourselves and that its normal that people don’t come to this til later in their life, as we learn about relationships with others first, and some relationship with God.  Our natural flow of love goes out to someone, so it feels a little strange at first to imagine turning that inwards on our self.

Also, if the Self is love, how come we don’t have that as an experience? I explained about the events in our life which we hold within us disconnect us from the experience of being love and give us the experience of our other painful emotions. So the overall effect is feeling other than love. So we have duality, the real us, Love, and the day to day us arising from our experiences. This us is the part of us that needs the love. And when we loved those parts, we come back into oneness and alignment with our self. I introduced the term Aspect to refer to the moments in time when something happened to disconnect us from our self.

So now she was ready to proceed. She said she wanted to start work on the concept of not feeling natural about a Mother loving a baby girl.

We started to tap on that and then she became emotional as a memory arose.

She was at home and her Mum and brother and sister were there. Her Mum was happy smiling and giving something to her brother and sister. The happy smile of love in her Mum triggered a pain in her heart because her Mum never looked at her that way. She was always over protective and anxious around her.

How Do I Love Myself

So I guided the client to place her hands over her heart and look on the pain with gentleness and love. It softened and released and her emotional state changed becoming more relaxed.

I checked how much was released by taking her back to the trigger. There was still a lot of emotion there, so I reminded her that she was sitting with me in the room, and it was the aspect that had that painful moment and would she like to help her aspect? She became more calm. We took an object to represent the aspect and put it in front of us and we both sent love to the aspect at that moment in time,  palms faced out towards the object representing the aspect and the energy of love flowing from our hands.

As we send energy we receive energy. So soon the client said the aspect was feeling better now and that she also was feeling better. Ok so now, what else do you think the aspect needs from you? I asked. Can you go in the room and be with her, talk to her, touch her in a soft way.

With her hands on her heart she saw herself step into the room and started to say comforting words of love to her young Aspect and they ended up hugging and she gave the little aspect kisses. The Aspect seemed to become younger now, a baby Aspect. I suggested she continued to hold and hug and kiss the baby Aspect. How much do you feel love for your little Aspects now I asked. Oh yes I do, she said, smiling happily her eyes watery with emotion. How do you think your Aspects feel being loved? I asked. She considered that and then said They are so happy. And where do you feel this happiness in your body? All over she said in love and happiness.

 How Do I Love Myself

But she said ‘but I want my Mum's love, why didn’t she love me like the others?’ I said that this was a good question. Something must have happened in your early years that caused some kind of shock or stress in your Mum relating to you that caused her to respond differently to you. Can you remember if anything happened? She said there were two events.


In one event as an infant she wandered off in the town while they were out shopping and found a couple in a photo booth having their pictures taken. She was just being curious and was safe and happy. But her Mum was panicked to lose where her daughter was for a few minutes and thought the couple were abducting her. It wasn’t true at all. The second was wandering off in the market. Apparently she lost me for 20 minutes, said the client.

I asked her how she thought her Mum would have felt losing her little girl in the market for 20 minutes. The client realised that her Mum must have been completely terrified, both times for her daughters safety. She said she was also kind of angry at me when she found me.

I explained that without some help these traumatic events would be stored in your Mum and that quite possibly that you would become a trigger for those feelings and that could easily lead to her over-protectiveness to you and fear and anxiety instead of happy love.

The client agreed and realised the truth and gaining understanding of her Mum at last. Tears rolled down her face as she said I can forgive my Mum now, I understand. I forgive her. She did love me after all. The happy love feelings were sacrificed as she was protecting me from harm and keeping me safe all the time. The client reached over to give me a hug of thanks for helping her reach this point.

If only I could tell my Mum I forgive her too, said the client. We can do that energetically if you want. So I lead her to choose a beautiful place that she could meet with her Mum and activated her senses to make it feel real for her and let her have the conversation she needed to have with her Mum. Tears of love flowed freely and they hugged and then parted in love, reconciled at last. The client opened her eyes, smiling, heart open happy and full from her experiences. She looked completely soft and beautiful. The complete opposite of the disconnected client that she was at the start.

So we concluded our lovely session, the client now connected in love to her self, being able to feel love for the small baby girl now and knowing her Mum loved her after all. She was also inspired, that things could change in this way and started to wonder what else she would like to change in her life. A new journey had begun.


Myself, I am so grateful to be able to help assist in restoring love and connection in this way. It is a blessing to me too as well as for those I work with.

With love, Sandra Hillawi

To Learn More About EMO

  1. Free EMO Self Help Audio
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  5. Book Energy Coaching Sessions with Sandra 


Posted May 29, 2018   

Sandra Hillawi 2017It's always good to talk to a human being and have your questions answered in person Smile

Please feel free to contact Sandra Hillawi with any questions about personal consultations, self help workshops, self help support tools, EFT and EMO training and healing retreats.

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