How many of us are in relationships where parts of the package are right and other parts are not as good as they could be? Maybe the attraction was strong but has diminished for various reasons over time.
Maybe when we are looking for the right partner how physically attractive we find them, if its less than our desires, could even stop us from exploring that person and all their other wonderful qualities that take a little more time to explore and appreciate. We could be missing out on a loving relationship with a wonderful person because we weren’t attracted to them enough. That would be such a shame especially if the level of attractiveness of our partner or prospective partner was actually under our control…..
Here’s a client who’s friend became a boyfriend, but the physical attraction was not that strong. She asked could we do something about this? Indeed by transforming emotional energy with EMO, we can, and we did, and the level of attraction became a 10, but with that and along the way came some interesting and surprising revelations about herself and the nature of attraction and her attitude to men in general …..Read the transcript of the EMO session. By the way, this session was an international conversation that took place in the form of a skype online chat, so this is exactly what happened in our 1 hr session !!
[10:26:07] Client: I have a question for my romance right now...
[10:26:11] Sandra Hillawi : ok....
[10:27:00] Client: this guy, John, who has been a good friend of mine has now turned into boyfriend...
[10:28:52] Client: I feel very relaxed with him, taken care of, loved and see a lot of potential in that we like the same kind of things and could even do some work together... the only thing that bothers me right now is that I am not physically 100 % attracted to him, so when I see men that are more good looking I sort of get anxious that I miss out, that I will hurt him by falling in love with someone else, that I am too superficial...
[10:29:18] Sandra: so 0-10 how attractive is he to you ?
[10:29:46] Client: hmmm.... 5 I think...
[10:30:02] Sandra: ok so the 5/10 that doesn’t find him attractive....where do you feel that ?
[10:30:28] Client: stomach... churning feeling... I’ll EMO it
[10:30:47] Sandra: ok tell me when its clear
[10:31:43] Sandra: ok?
[10:31:58] Client: it’s going up, first I felt sad, then a little smile on my face...
[10:32:07] Client: still not a 10 though...
[10:32:13] Sandra: ok so 0-10 now?
[10:32:26] Client: 7 now
[10:32:39] Sandra: ok so the 3/10 that still not attracted to him...where is it
[10:32:58] Client: chest/throat, pressure
[10:33:03] Sandra: ok so soften and flow
[10:33:07] Sandra: tell me when it’s gone
[10:33:09] Client: ok
[10:33:50] Sandra: so now 0-10 how attractive is he ?
[10:33:57] Client: interesting- it comes up that I do not want to totally attracted to him - like it is scary, or safer not to be...
[10:34:08] Sandra: ok so where is the scariness ?
[10:34:11] Client: in the throat that is
[10:34:17] Sandra: ok soften and flow
[10:35:34] Client: it is softening and flowing out of the head. working on a part that is left in the stomach
[10:35:47] Sandra: ok tell me where it goes and when it’s gone
[10:36:32] Client: going out the root chakra I get a bit giggly
[10:36:37] Sandra: good
[10:37:07] Client: seeing it like I don’t want to really really make a choice about men, and this can keep me sort of open to something else, an escape route...
[10:37:43] Client: when I think about John now I feel my heart is opening up to him, loving warmth flowing out to him
[10:37:54] Sandra: so where is the part that says ‘if I clear this it means I have made a definite choice and am closed to all others’ ?
[10:38:24] Client: throat, stomach, chest, like a shield sort of, but in the body
[10:38:34] Sandra: ok so lets soften and release
[10:39:11] Sandra: where does it all go?
[10:39:39] Client: goes upward again. still left in the throat
[10:39:52] Sandra: ok soften the bits that are left in the throat...
[10:40:47] Client: it’s like a scream that wants to shout out all the passion I have inside....softening and releasing it now
[10:40:56] Sandra: great
[10:41:19] Sandra: where does it go ?
[10:41:33] Client: out the ears, mouth arms shaking it out through hands
[10:41:46] Sandra: great....so tell me when it’s all flowing and clear
[10:42:07] Client: feeling energised but still doubtful if I can share that passion with him...
[10:42:20] Sandra: so the doubt, where is this ?
[10:42:29] Client: stomach again
[10:42:36] Sandra: ok so soften and flow
[10:43:08] Sandra: where does it go?
[10:43:22] Client: down the legs and out the feet
[10:43:28] Sandra: tell me when it’s gone
[10:44:41] Client: ...again there are thoughts coming up - like "i'd be stuck" and I feel it in the head
[10:45:17] Sandra: ok so soften and flow.....as this is a belief
[10:46:23] Client: it’s seems gone - down the trunk and out the sides of the belly
[10:46:32] Sandra: ok so any doubt left?
[10:46:45] Sandra: any fear of being stuck with him ?
[10:46:59] Client: and now comes to mind my last boyfriend with who I had a very passionate sexual relationship with, and it’s like I can’t do with less than that...
[10:47:17] Sandra: so when you remember this....where do you feel it ?
[10:47:38] Client: sadness---chest and outside chest
[10:47:44] Sandra: I cant do it with less than this = I don’t believe I can be as passionate about John
[10:47:52] Sandra: soften and flow
[10:47:56] Sandra: tell me where it is
[10:48:04] Client: yes
[10:48:17] Client: pressure over the chest
[10:48:23] Sandra: soften
[10:49:12] Sandra: where does it go ?
[10:50:13] Client: soften, goes down, seems to go out the root chakra….in my eyes there was a belief of "John is not as beautiful as my last boyfriend, so I can’t be as attracted to him" and it softened also
[10:50:28] Sandra: ok....let me ask....
[10:50:42] Sandra: when you think of the passion of the last boyfriend....where do you feel that ?
[10:51:03] Sandra: (this is a guiding star, an unreleased highlight memory)
[10:51:22] Sandra: every man is having to live up to this !!!
[10:51:25] Client: in my heart - pulsing out and I get sad to think about how strong it has been and still can’t work out in normal life..
[10:51:36] Sandra: ok so soften and release
[10:51:42] Client: have thought about it.
[10:52:16] Sandra: where does the energy go?
[10:52:37] Client: seems to gather energy from around the body and flow out the heart
[10:52:47] Sandra: ok....
[10:52:54] Sandra: tell me when it feels clear
[10:54:06] Client: clearer now
[10:54:26] Sandra: so again... all the beauty and passion of the last boyfriend.... think of it, where do you feel that in your body ?
[10:54:38] Sandra: how does it feel now ?
[10:55:17] Client: different, more peaceful, radiating from my whole body with a centre in my genitals that seems to be a bit stuck..
[10:55:32] Sandra: ok soften there and tell me where it goes?
[10:57:20] Client: a floating sensation, energy going up to the heart, stuck a bit there and in throat,
[10:57:34] Sandra: ok...soften and flow a bit more...
[10:57:51] Client: spiralling through body upwards
[10:58:05] Sandra: follow it till it exits, tell me when its clear
[10:59:40] Client: like a fountain out the head more relaxed now
[10:59:47] Sandra: ok so again...
[10:59:59] Sandra: think of all the beauty and passion of the last boyfriend....how does it feel now?
[11:01:01] Client: I have to laugh about how this works:-) I feel more peaceful with it now, warmth in my body flowing through me, but now that attached to it
[11:01:09] Sandra: great
[11:01:16] Sandra: so lets track back over what we've done
[11:01:23] Client: yes
[11:01:24] Sandra: the belief that you might get 'stuck' with John?
[11:01:32] Sandra: how is that now?
[11:01:44] Sandra: and miss out on another great passion ?
[11:02:05] Client: no real response in me other than I won’t get stuck, like it is my choice what to do
[11:02:21] Sandra: so now how attracted to him are you 0-10
[11:02:38] Client: the passion thing I am softening and flowing from stomach, but it is not so hard
[11:02:57] Client: 8 - again a flow of heart warmth
[11:03:11] Sandra: great....so the 2/10 that’s still not completely attracted, where is this ?
[11:03:18] Client: throat
[11:03:26] Sandra: soften flow, tell me where it goes
[11:03:27] Client: laughing now about this...
[11:03:32] Sandra: good !
[11:04:14] Client: out from the head and trickling down the spine and out the tailbone
[11:04:21] Sandra: tell me its all clear
[11:04:40] Client: clear now
[11:04:47] Sandra: ok so 0-10 how attractive is he now?
[11:05:49] Client: 9 the feeling now is more that attraction lies within myself - how much flow I can allow myself to have, how much sparkling energy. it is to trust that he can take it that is the issue now :)
[11:06:10] Sandra: great !!!!
[11:06:20] Sandra: so the 1/10 that’s still remaining, where is this?
[11:06:31] Client: in my ears
[11:06:39] Sandra: ok...so soften and flow
[11:08:13] Sandra: where does it go?
[11:08:22] Client: out the ears I think...
[11:08:33] Sandra: tell me when its clear
[11:08:47] Client: a lot of other aspects that are good about our relationship come to my mind
[11:08:57] Sandra: good.....
[11:09:01] Sandra: so a question...
[11:09:14] Sandra: you said ‘to trust that he can take it that is the issue now’ is this still an issue?
[11:09:45] Client: no that becomes a flow of energy going in through my heart and through the body
[11:09:54] Sandra: so any lack of trust about that?
[11:10:22] Client: no that was maybe more about me taking in his sexuality, when I think of it afterwards
[11:10:38] Sandra: ok so....0-10 how attractive is he now?
[11:12:25] Client: now I see his whole personality and not just him sexually or the way he looks - like I get a broader perspective of who he is and all aspects I like. sexuality comes to be only one part of this. how attracted? actually it seem more like a 10 now - but with the whole perspective in it
[11:12:40] Sandra: great....
[11:12:49] Sandra: and how well can you take in his sexual energy?
[11:12:52] Client: strange and interesting shift!
[11:13:25] Client: it comes in - working on getting it through totally
[11:13:35] Sandra: tell me where it flows
[11:15:07] Client: in through the genitals - up the back - out through the back behind my heart and also the front
[11:15:30] Sandra: ok so how well is that flowing now...taking in his sexual energy?
[11:16:09] Client: still a bit sluggish
[11:16:14] Sandra: ok soften along the way
[11:17:43] Sandra: how is it flowing now?
[11:18:17] Client: better, opening up a path
[11:18:30] Client: seems a bit blocked below my heart
[11:18:41] Sandra: ok soften a bit there....where does it go?
[11:19:07] Client: out the hands - I can let go of expectations...
[11:19:16] Sandra: good.....
[11:19:26] Sandra: so how well do you handle his sexual energy now?
[11:19:50] Client: rushes in the same way as before through and out the hands
[11:20:08] Client: good flow in it now
[11:20:11] Sandra: ok....so now....invite in the energy of the whole package....
[11:20:23] Sandra: where does it come in, flow to and leave?
[11:20:32] Client: almost overwhelming - shaking it through
[11:20:40] Sandra: softening along the way
[11:20:53] Sandra: tell me how that feels.......
[11:21:26] Client: his energy is around me now - I try taking it in and letting it through
[11:21:33] Sandra: ok....
[11:21:50] Client: goes out through he front of my body
[11:22:04] Sandra: comes in where?
[11:22:24] Client: comes in through the back of my body
[11:22:44] Sandra: ok....so check above and blow inside your body....anything stopping the flow going up or down?
[11:23:48] Client: two energies - one flowing up through me and one flowing down through me - like energies of earth and sky sort of.
[11:24:31] Sandra: hmmmmm.....not sure what to do about that.....check out the energy of the whole person of John again...around you...
[11:24:38] Sandra: anywhere else it wants to come in?
[11:25:13] Client: it also comes in from below and above now, as well as from behind and goes out the front
[11:25:37] Sandra: so flowing from around you and through and out....and how does it feel with all this flow?
[11:26:16] Client: good, calm, new
[11:26:28] Sandra: ok....so how attractive is he now?
[11:26:30] Sandra: 0-10
[11:28:01] Client: getting really confused - there are no figures right now energy comes in the front of my body letting it through now
[11:28:14] Sandra: so how do you feel about him?
[11:28:35] Client: right now I don’t know at all...
[11:28:56] Client: strange
[11:29:22] Sandra: so you don’t know how you feel about him.....
[11:29:30] Sandra: ok so what’s changed from where we started?
[11:31:26] Client: now it’s like all of this attraction thing is always just something inside me - nothing to do with the man almost... like he is he and standing on his own -
[11:32:01] Client: and I need to reshape my way of thinking about the whole thing and finding the way to relate to him (and men?)
[11:32:38] Client: like it needs to land in me and then see what happens and what is there
[11:33:05] Sandra: interesting revelation
[11:33:14] Client: hmm
[11:33:25] Client: thank you for taking the time
[11:33:31] Sandra: pleasure.....
[11:34:04] Client: I think I just need to be with this, no words to try to analyse more right now
[11:34:42] Sandra: maybe we do a follow up as this is an interesting shift to explore what the change means to you in your life
[11:34:43] Client: yes, I think follow up would be good.
[11:35:31] Client: I think the change will be in really daring to commit to a relationship (that is what I would love to be able to do) and really find out what is important to me in that relationship.
[11:35:53] Sandra: and now.....you have released some of the barriers to doing that
[11:36:22] Client: that is what I will find out the next hours and days I think - can’t tell right now...
[11:36:51] Sandra: ok
[11:37:26] Client: so i´ll talk to you later - want to get out in the sun and just relax and let this settle, while I rest on the beach :)
[11:37:49] Client: really thank you a lot, amazing this can be done over skype!
So great transformation took place for their relationship, with interesting revelations.
The client’s blocks to being attracted to this man were based on a combination of her fears, her expectations from her past relationships and her ability to be open and allow this person in.
The client’s perception of how attractive her boyfriend was changed when she changed within herself. He had to change nothing to become more attractive in her eyes.
How attractive your partner is to you is under your control !! If you want a partner who’s a 10 out of 10 physically, they can be. You too could be enjoying a more open, exciting, intimate, passionate and more loving relationship.
Contact Sandra to book a consultation if you would like to explore this fufrther fro your own relationship.
Master Trainer of EMO